The First Look: Why Couples Are Choosing This Special Moment

You’ve probably heard the old saying that it’s “bad luck” to see your fiancé before the ceremony. But where did that even come from?  The tradition dates back to the days of arranged marriages, when couples often weren’t allowed to meet (or even lay eyes on each other) until they stood at the altar. Parents worried that if the groom saw the bride beforehand and wasn’t impressed, he might change his mind. To lower the risk, a veil became a safeguard: the groom wouldn’t see her face until the very last moment, when it was far too late to back out. Romantic… right?

Thankfully, times have changed. Today, many couples embrace the idea of a “first look”, sharing an intimate, emotional moment together before the ceremony.

(Above photos by Lively Photography)

More Time Together

Your wedding day will fly by, filled with excitement, family, friends, and celebrations. Doing a first look gives you precious extra hours with your partner before the whirlwind begins. You get to laugh, cry, breathe together, and soak in the reality that this is your day…together.

As Cheyenne Bulloch, a talented photographer we’ve had the privilege to work with, says:

"One of my favorite things about a first look is that it lets you slow down and soak in a moment with just the two of you…then we can get a ton of portraits done early so you can spend more of your evening celebrating with your guests instead of feeling like you’re being pulled away for photos the entire night."

Cheyenne captured the most precious first-look photos for Emily and Dylan.

(Above photos by Cheyenne Bulloch)

Genuine, Private Emotions

Seeing each other in private allows for emotions to be raw and authentic. Without hundreds of eyes on you, the groom gets to tell his bride how beautiful she is, and she gets to wipe the tear from his face.  Imagine the difference: without a first look, your groom waits at the altar with clammy hands, while hundreds of guests anticipate his reaction, and there are definitely no words and embraces that get to happen.  A first look is just for the two of you: intimate, unfiltered, and unforgettable.

(Above photos by Ashley x Ashley)

Reduce Stress and Nerves

Couples who see each other beforehand often find that their nerves melt away. Once they connect privately, a weight is lifted, and they can fully enjoy the ceremony and reception.

We love Alex Bo Photo, one of our frequent photographers, and she says:

"If my couples feel strongly about not seeing each other before the ceremony, I’m a really big fan of giving them some time alone immediately after the ceremony concludes, whether that be 2, 5 or 10 minutes. For weddings at The Barn, the bridal suite is the perfect place for this since it's private and secluded from guests. They haven’t seen each other all day, and now they can take a minute to soak up the fact that they’re married before diving into family, wedding party and couple photos. Right after that, we have to roll straight into knocking out our photo list and to be honest between cranky toddlers who missed their naptime, guests in the way and overstimulated grandparents, that “just married high” gets squashed pretty quickly. 

By contrast, if they DID do a first look, we’ve knocked out all their formal photos already, so now their family is a bit happier getting to move straight into mingling mode and catching up with everyone at cocktail hour. If they have to take family photos during this time, I think it's worth considering that they lose that time to visit with their guests.

To summarize…when you do a first look, you get to ride that high all the way through your reception and spend far more time with your spouse than you would otherwise.” 

(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)

(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)

A Smoother Timeline

Weddings involve a lot of moving pieces, and daylight matters. Particularly between November and February, sunset can creep up during or just after the ceremony. By doing a first look, you can ensure portraits are taken while the light is perfect and avoid feeling rushed.

More Photos, More Variety

With a first look, photographers can capture a wider range of moments throughout the day. This means your gallery isn’t limited to just a few post-ceremony portraits…every emotion, laugh, and glance can be documented beautifully.

Alex Bo also notes:

"The part of the day I love to shoot the most, and the photos that are often my couples’ favorite of the day are the “just married” photos right after the ceremony. When they’ve done a first look earlier, these photos just allow the bride and groom to exhale and ride that JUST MARRIED high. These are the photos most likely to get printed and posted (peep the profile photo change!). There’s no feeling like it! And let’s be real, high energy, celebratory photos with your wedding party just hit differently after the ceremony-- all of the formalities are out of the way and folks are just ready to hunker down for a good time! 

Alex definitely captured that “just married high” and the energy that a wedding party can have after those formal photos are out of the way, with Jordan and Cole.

(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)

The Joy of a Double “Best Moment”

The magic of seeing your partner for the first time isn’t just for the ceremony. A first look allows you to experience that incredible moment twice, once privately, and again in front of your loved ones. Both are special in different ways, and both will be memories you treasure forever.

photo by The Cantrells

photo by The Cantrells

(Above photos by Glynne Ashley Photography)

Why Some Couples Skip It

Of course, some couples prefer tradition or thrive on the anticipation of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. In those cases, options like a first touch: holding hands, reading letters, or even praying together, can give you a private, emotional release while still honoring that suspense.

photo by The Axmanns

photo by Savannah Sherwood

photo by Jaden Ann Photography

photo by Savannah Sherwood

At the end of the day, a first look isn’t about luck, it’s about what will make your day feel most magical, relaxed, and memorable for you. Whether you choose to see each other before the ceremony, during it, or with a first touch, the most important thing is that your wedding day reflects your love story……and you can relax knowing your day will unfold beautifully, with every detail in place and the perfect backdrop for your special moments.

Relax and Enjoy: The Real Value of a Day-of Coordinator at The Barn at Grace Hill

You’ve spent months dreaming, planning, and pinning, all to bring your perfect day to life. When your wedding weekend finally arrives, the last thing you want to do is work. That’s where our Day-Of Coordinators come in.

We say it all the time: your job is to soak up every moment, not to run the timeline, track down vendors, or yell over the sound of chatter at rehearsal to get people to line up.

And while some couples are tempted to hand off “coordinator” duties to a friend or family member, we’ve been around the aisle enough times to know that’s usually a recipe for chaos.

Let us explain.

Not All Coordinators Are Created Equal

You've probably heard the term "venue coordinator" thrown around online. And we get it, there’s a lot of confusion out there. Here at The Barn at Grace Hill, our On-Site Manager takes care of the venue side of things (trash, restrooms, general questions). But when it comes to you and your wedding day experience? That’s where our Day-Of Coordinator (DOC) shines.

When you book one of our DOCs, you’re getting more than just a ceremony wrangler, you’re getting a dedicated team member who focuses solely on your timeline, your people, your peace of mind and your priorities. 

So What Exactly Does a Day-Of Coordinator Do?

The short answer? More than you can imagine.

From your planning meeting (about one month out) through the end-of-night clean-up support, our DOCs are there to make sure the day flows smoothly. Need help getting Grandma’s corsage pinned on? Cake not arrived yet? Champagne flutes missing from the cake table?  Caterer asking a million questions? Our team has it covered, usually before you even notice there’s a problem.

They’ll:

• Run your rehearsal so you can relax and enjoy the night before

• Greet your vendors and show them where to set up

• Cue your bridal party and family down the aisle

• Guide you through all those reception moments like cake cutting and first dances

• Keep an eye on the timeline so things don’t run late, with your priorities in mind. 

• Help your clean-up crew know what goes where (and what needs to go home with Mom!)

And that’s just scratching the surface.

Why Not Just Ask My Friend?

We love a good “my bestie’s got this” moment, but we’ve seen it go sideways too many times. Friends and relatives, no matter how well-meaning, often don’t realize what’s involved in running a full wedding day. They check out after the ceremony, leaving no one in charge. Suddenly, no one knows when to cut the cake, when the first dance is, or how to get the leftover cupcakes to the getaway car.

We’ve also had friends of the couple tell us (in a panic), “I don’t know how I ended up in this role, I have no idea what I’m doing!”

We believe your loved ones should enjoy the day with you, not stress over vendor questions or table assignments. Let us carry that weight.

Will They Decorate Everything Too?

Our Day-Of Coordinators are more than happy to assist with decor setup - think centerpieces, signage, candles, and other thoughtful touches. We offer this as an optional add-on because we know that sometimes, friends and family actually want to help in this way. But what a gift it is when you and your loved ones can simply enjoy those special morning hours - watching your vision come to life without lifting a finger.

That said, our DOC is just one person, managing a full schedule of day-of responsibilities. If your setup involves more detailed or time-intensive elements, like folding 250 napkins or building custom tablescapes, we’re more than happy to accommodate. We’ll bring in additional team members to support your coordinator for a small labor fee, ensuring everything looks incredible without expecting one person to do the work of five.

Do I Get to Talk to My DOC for Months Ahead of Time?

No need! That’s more of a wedding planner’s role. Or we find that most of our brides’ questions are easy for our normal venue team to answer. Your DOC will step in closer to the big day with a planning meeting to go over everything: timeline, special touches, and all the nitty-gritty details. And since our DOCs know The Barn like the back of their hand, they already know what works best here, where things go, and how the day typically flows.  You get the satisfaction of knowing you planned your entire wedding but then you get to pass it off to someone else to implement. 

Will My Coordinator Stay Until the End?

They do. But think of them as the lead orchestrator, not the cleaning crew. Our coordinators help pack up your décor, ensure nothing gets left behind, and make sure your sparkler send-off and final exit go smoothly. They'll even double-check that your overnight bags and gifts get to the right car.

Even in the final hour, they’re coordinating, not scrubbing tables or hauling trash. Their role is to keep things organized, efficient, and stress-free all the way to the very end.

The Heart Behind What We Do

Since 2018, our coordinating team has been a huge part of what makes wedding days at The Barn feel smooth, supported, and truly special. They’re kind, calm, capable, and some of the best in the Wichita area (just ask your other vendors!).

Our DOCs operate under The Barn’s umbrella, so they can focus 100% on your day, not on running a business. That means you get an experienced, vetted coordinator at a fraction of the cost it would take to hire one independently, without sacrificing an ounce of quality or heart.

Bottom Line?

You’ve already done the hard work. Now let go of the clipboard, grab your bouquet, and let our Day-Of Coordinators handle the rest.

We can’t wait to meet you and walk beside you through one of the most important days of your life. 

We truly believe The Barn at Grace Hill shines brightest thanks in large part to the incredible impact of our Day-of Coordinators.